Story of my Highs and lows

So yesterday, just as I was about to sleep, at about 11:00p.m, I tapped Peace for a resolution chat and the next thing I knew was that I was laying to sleep at 04:00am in the morning. Glory to God, I was able to wake at 07:30, prayed and did my laundry, then set out for WWP... While I was washing, Mr. Attah called to cancel his order for Friday, with claims that he is travelling. I honestly don't believe him, but what will I do?
During the meeting, I was asked to buy food for every member of the group, I did buy for everybody but me. The women were in awe at my decision. I as somewhat numb, but kept asking God to accept my sacrifice. I am hungry for real food, but I am not sure I have got a go ahead to eat. Hmmm... I am a little overwhelmed by the fact that the freezer is about, somehow it wants to affect my peace. I also feel worried about the Saturday program, the juice to profit. What will my lot be? I am a little anxious, but I am casting all my cares on God.
Mr. Alfred asked me to let him know of I need help with my application for TEF, so I am treading carefully. I don't want us to get emotional about this thing and screw up what God is set to do. I release my faith to receive the TEF fund.
I feel exhausted, at the same time I am going to give Mr. Edward his drinks... This is me being deaf to the way I feel. I want to repaint my toe nails and see if i can change my hair. I volunteered to give the marriage school a great touch to the result. Its going to be a huge one for me in terms of work. This morning I felt the Holy spirit reminding me that once upon a time, I wanted to help Pastor Opi and this is a rare privilege, so I will give it my all. My desire is to leave earth empty. That's my heart cry

So if I had my way, I am not sure I would want to redo this day. First, I woke up without light, so my 5AM routine was quite messy, but I still did it anyway... I eventually found my way to the market and got things for today's delivery. I thank God the money was enough. I got back and tried to get the drinks ready, then I reached out to Anwar, the friend I discovered when I went to deliver drinks to Cele at CDC. He ordered drinks from me, and I had to make haste to conclude my Central Area delivery and meet up with his. I was dancing through this process, then I realized the freezer ain't cooling... I am still reminding God that I am a tither... I won't say much for now. Somehow, a lot of things seemed liked they wanted to go wrong, by I have been on Psalms 103,blessing God with my soul.

My Daniel fast clocked 27 today, and it feels like I can go any further... My cravings have heightened and I can even eat via my nostrils these days. With little rest, the Daniel meal hardly fills me up. Not complaining. I am grateful to God for a number of things today
Despite no light, I woke up and prayed.
Anwar ordered drinks
Mr Attach  ordered for tomorrow on his own
Mr Edward is getting honey tomorrow
I am able to focus and praise even when my day seems to want to chat its course... I am tapping my daily benefits,
I am able to make it for church, even though latr

Still on the news of today. My line has been falling in pleasant places. After I came from my explorative market trip. I got a message from Cele asking if I could deliver 7bottles of carrot to her, I obligations d and charged her 6k... She did not flinch, she just wired it into my account. I had to pull a stunt delivering it to her and while I was still trying to figure out how to get to Gwarimpa for the leadership training. O saw Mr. Martin of WHO, he was going to Kubwa and then he dropped me off... Thank God for grace. I did not miss a thing today, rather o achieved more than I anticipated. Of a truth, he daily loads me with plenty benefits.

Explore

Hmmm... Let's say I feel energized this morning, I woke up and thanked God for all that happened yesterday. But most importantly I read a book that advised me to step out of my comfort zone... While that is not the easiest thing to do. I am trying it out today. So I wrote a couple of things on my Smoothies ideas list even though I doubted I was ever going to try them out. But today.... Guess what I am actually going to explore... This is especially exciting for me because I wouldn't dare... I bought Almonds, kale and some other rare things, set to mesmerize my customers. We ain't joking here. I am set to explore for my next juice escapades.
In the other news, I just paid my 10k for the juicetoprofit training. That money feels like blood. But I have let it go. It will come back in glamour. Phew!!!! I am so happy... The readings aren't a waste afterall... Lalalalalala... I am happy

My 4th day as a member of the 05:00am club

Yesterday was one of those days I don't ever want to wake up to in my life again. I woke up in the morning and tried to do my usual 5AM club activities... I did my exercise and lay down to do my devotional that was how I slept off. Like really slept from about 05:30 o about 09:30am.  This one hurt me in itself. I got ready and went to millennium park where I worried away the rest of my day. Meanwhile, I had a dream about my prince charming. He was so calm, tall and light skinned. I remember teasing him and calling him Ajebo. He was so patient with me and accepted me for who I was. In the dream I went to CODE, ,I don't know for whatever reason. But we were there. I remember we climbed a 3 storey staircase. He exceeded and I just almost branched when he saw me and lovingly came down. I don't know, but I felt so much love in the dream. It was nothing like I have ever felt before. I hold onto that dream until my prince charming shows up.
Meanwhile, I had to pray most part of he night for mercy. Somehow it felt like spirit of intercession and I began to pray. In all, I slept praying nd woke up better.

Day 3 5AM

So today is the 3rd day of my 5AM club exercise. Today I woke up with more ease and was able to do a little bit of morning exercise. It was not up to 20 mins though, but I did it. I woke up with a clearer head.

Something happened yesterday, as I was almost getting worried on how to fully fund my trip to Lagos, I stumble on a post on Instagram that says a similar training will be happening in Abuja. For 15k... I was saving up for a blender, but I just knew I had to let go of this morning. I am still trying to imbibe the habit of paying for knowledge, and I am sure it will pay off really soon. I reached out to the lady pleading for a discount and she agreed almost immediately. I started to second guess the efficacy of the training. But I took a lesson out of it. Never do favours on a platter, people will most likely despise it because of the ease at which it came

Its about 12 noon andi feel stronger and happier today, was able to set a goal and accomplish it. I feel like a heroine.

Yesterday, I went to the market with the intent of getting really nice new clothes. The idea was to boost my confidence and make me happy, but guess what. Right now, I don't feel any more confident or happier than I felt yesterday before I left for The market. The lesson for me is that joy is internal.
I have this friend whom we stay together, sometime last year we would seat and whine about the unfairness of life. But she seem to have caught a mastery of this whole life thing, she seems happier and less more concerned about life, while I still seem to hold on a lot to what happens around me. This part kinda contributes to my pain. Its like I am not growing or I am growing too slow. Sometimes I feel stripped. Like I don't know anything in myself. Its not an easy place to be in. I find out that I battle with unfulfillment, anger and sometimes, envy. I pray to be better soon. I can wait to attain inner peace.
Today was meant to be my second day on the 5AM club... I woke up, sat on the reading table and slept all through. I can't even seem to do the regular prayer anymore except the ones I say in my heart in desperation. I don't even know of God accepts such prayers. I just wish I know what to do now. Lord help me!

Updates on my new life

A lot has happened in the last few years. In fact, 2019 was quite a year for me. I felt like life paused me, drained my confidence and let me out. But this is 2020 and I am trying to find my feet. I feel my confidence coming back but not without the lace of fear and touches of doubts. I have resorted to an adventurous 2020 and although I still don't know how it will play out, I will still try.

Today, i successfully got my Daniel fast to 21 days. For me that's a great achievement and having been reading the 5AM club, I decided to start today. I actually did not decide to start, my friend had to wake me after the alarm had tried effortlessly for days. This morning was a huge struggle. I was feeling sleepy up until about 07:00 pm.

Its been a training ground for me. I had to brace myself to be able to show up at the Crash course Leadership program held at Transformers Leadership Academy. For one week. I will keep pushing myself until I can no longer breathe. This doesn't feel easy, but I will keep asking for grace.